He marveled at how it was that she had come to him. He marveled that anyone as beautiful of mind, body, and soul could find such grace in him. He marveled at one woman’s power of redemption and how he could ever be worthy of its recuperative salvation.
He marveled at one woman’s power of redemption and how he could ever be worthy of its recuperative salvation. He marveled at what a woman like her saw in a man like him.
He turned his head back up to return her intent gaze. She was closer to him than he had anticipated, and it made him momentarily uneasy, “Would you divorce me if I decide that I am unable or unwilling to have a child with you?” He held his breath in anticipation of the blow, like a prizefighter who knows the knockout punch is coming.
The blow, however, never came. After a brief silence, she replied, “No, Jacob, I wouldn’t.” She let out a brief “humph” of exasperation. She had not intended to disclose so much. It left her feeling vulnerable, as if her final card had been played, and all she could do now was sit back and see how the hand unfolded. “So is that, I take it, your final answer?”
Jacob could not take his eyes off of her. In her moment of ultimate sacrifice, she appeared more radiant to him than she ever had before. Amidst all the pain and misery the world could dredge up, here was a woman who proved that there was indeed some salvageable sanctity left in it also. Here was a woman willing to forsake her own aspirations and needs in order to satisfy his. Here was a woman who had pledged to never leave him and meant to see it through.
Again, he longed to placate her fears, not merely tell her what she wanted to hear, but to assure her that they would have a child together and that it would grow up to be strong and healthy and good. He wanted so very much to be capable of the same type of sacrifice that she was willing to make for him. Even more so, he wished that he could really believe that their child could grow up to be happy.