Bag Your Own Damn Groceries (and other pet peeves) So the other day I was in the grocery store trying to pick up a few last-minute items to make dinner before picking up my kids from school. Even in the late afternoon, a time I had erroneously assumed would be relatively quiet since most people […]
Brown is the New Black by Steven A. Craig I’m going to preface this story with a brief explanation and appeal for understanding. Colorado, you see, is hardly the most racially diverse state in the nation. In fact, let’s be blunt, shall we? It’s pretty damn white. We may not be as absurdly Caucasian as […]
Truth: in 1000 words or less by Steven A. Craig Please Don’t Move Here Seriously people, please stop moving to Denver. I know you’ve heard all that jargon from the Colorado tourist bureau that our weather is spectacular with 300 days of sunshine each year, more than San Diego or Miami. I know that our […]
Shooting Democracy’s Brains Out I’m not going to lie; I’ve been putting this off for quite awhile now. I haven’t wanted to write a column about the gun epidemic in America. First of all, it’s never wise to piss off a bunch of people who, by definition, are packing heat. Second, I understand how divisive […]
The 450 Pound Gorilla in the Room I don’t generally write articles regarding the local goings-on of Cincinnati, Ohio. In fact, other than the occasional Herb Tarlick or Johnny Fever reference, I try to avoid mentioning anything in Cincy whatsoever, but the national news has been abuzz recently with the tragic circumstances that occurred […]
Whatever your politics might be, it is beginning to look like the next President of the United States is going to be taking her oath in a pants suit. However you may feel about it, the smart money right now has to be on Hilary. I’m going to go ahead and say it, folks: This […]
In response to my last column on the absolute shit show the 2016 presidential election has become, one of my relatives wrote back to me and suggested I “control my rage” and then implied, with hardly subtle irony, that I should vote for Hilary. Ah, I just love how nurturing and supportive my family is. […]
Who were the Best SNL Cast Members? You know what people like? Lists. Whether for remembering what to buy at the grocery store or reading Consumer Reports for a compilation of the best vacuum cleaners under $100 for 2016, we love lists. And if I […]
What the World Could Live Without New Year’s is a time for resolutions, usually resolutions that will be hastily discarded like strip club pamphlets on the Vegas strip before those brand-spanking new 2016 calendars even get turned to February. So let’s not fool ourselves. Let’s just take a meaningful glance forward and consider how the […]
Jesus and Buddha in a Steel Caged Death Match So, this is the first installment of TRUTH: in 100 words or less where I have made good on the promise to let the readers decide on what topic I will write about next. And this is what you have chosen. You sick, twisted fucks. Actually, […]
